(Remaining) things to do

1. Tidy up my car2. send car for repair and oil change
3. Rearrange my clothes in the closet
4. Arrange books on shelves according to height
5. Arrange stacks of DVD
6. Arrange handbags
7. Arrange shoes
8. Find a place to arrange all the above (this should be number 1)
9. Clear all my assignments from work!
10. Do all of the above with a positive outlook whilst NOT thinking about other problems.

Things to be done by today

1. Tidy up my car
2. send car for repair and oil change
3. Rearrange my clothes in the closet
4. Arrange books on shelves according to height
5. Arrange stacks of DVD
6. Arrange handbags
7. Arrange shoes
8. Find a place to arrange all the above (this should be number 1)
9. Clear all my assignments from work!
10. Do all of the above with a positive outlook whilst NOT thinking about other problems.

Woo saaaaaaah. Insya Allah, this can be done. Amin

Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

Rewrite, repost, reality bites. Ouch!

The problem with trying to post an entry via blackberry is that you can accidentally delete it when you are trying to send it to your page. Damn, whilst standing in front of Kinokuniya, I wrote a long entry on the list of books that I saw in the book store that I wanted to buy but gathered the courage to put all of them down because I knew I had so many unfinished books waiting at home - and that post just disappeared into thin air. wth!

Ok, ok so here are the books that almost made it on to my new shelves at home :

1. Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love In The Time of Cholera
2. Roald Dahl's  Going Solo
3. Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina
4. (I can't remember this one) 
5. Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns 

I wanted to get (no.1 - 4) coz they were available in Penguin's paperback version, which meant they were slightly cheaper than the other versions. As for no. 5, I was captivated by the story and the way his first book was written (I cried throughout the book, sob sob) that I just had to have it first (read later).

But as I mentioned, I managed to suck it all in and remind myself that UNTIL I finish the books I am currently reading at home (or work, what-have-you), I would NOT buy anymore books. Hmmphh, I'm so proud of myself.

Incidentally, if you have books that you no longer want, do drop them at Kinokuniya so they can pass it on for others to read (and share your wonderful experience!). This is being done in collaboration with UNICEF. Hooray to reading!

Strawberry blueberry blackberry

I remember when I was working in an NGO, most of my bosses had their own blackberry and each time at the end of their email, the words "sent via my blackberry" will appear. Which got some of us who were cheeky but had no such device to add on the words "sent via my strawberry" / "sent via my blueberry"at the end of our email. Hihihihihih

Ok this is to test blogging from my blackberry. So yeah this entry is posted via my blackberry. :D
Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

life is like a box of chocolate (you never know what you're gonna get )

I'm in the midst of watching a very interesting movie which involves a lot singing (hint, hint). *chuckles* . These words (below) are an excerpt from a song in the movie which have captured my heart. Yes, despite the ridiculous, extravagant and over-the-top plot, action and acting/singing, I still managed to immerse into the movie to find these profound words:

Just try staying in a village hut
Try counting the stars through the cracks in the roof
Ignore cell phone rings
Enjoy rattling of carts
Try walking barefoot, caressing the soil
We shall turn into kids 

-Sivaji the Boss, 2007

So good. So much. So share!

Loves:

1. Walking along the beach with the waves touching at my feet.
2. The smell of old books. Sigh. 
3. The drive to work each morning with the music turned on full blast. 
4. My loverlilies! 
5. The view of KL while driving along the Ampang-KL Elevated Highway. Oh-so-romantic. 
6. MY FAMILY 
7. Woody Allen's Annie Hall. Most romantic movie. Ever. 
8. The sound of laughter from a shared joke. :) 
9. Daily conversations with my best friend. 
10. Laying on the floor of my backyard staring at the fish in the pond. (Sometimes with nephew next to me)
11. Luxuriating in the music of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto. 
12. Listening to my nephew sing along to the rock songs while we play Guitar Hero. Comel giler. 
13. My niece's non-stop hugs and kisses each time we meet. 
14. My eldest nephew whenever he breaks out into a Star Wars theme song whilst staring at me. Lagi satu comel giler ni.
15. My fat cat, Dol. 
16. Walking barefooted on a grassy patch. 
17. Sunrises and sunsets. 
18. Rainbows.
19. Sitting at the balcony of my best friend's apartment and staring into the woods. Gonna miss that place too much. 
20. Complete silence. 
21. Lunch hour in the office.(see no. 20)
22. My darling Hazrin and his willingness to fight despite being physically-impaired. Remember, they are only DISabled because society and the (unfriendly) infrastructure make them that way. 
23. Children.
24. Old French songs. 
25. Staring at the stars.
26. Life as it is!

Enough already!

My favourite way of writing:

1. Concentrating on a new project at work trying to turn the CSR and CR policy 180 degrees. I've always believed that if you want to do good work, make sure you do it RIGHT. 
2.  Grandma is not well :(  She's suffering from Alzheimer's and had an upset stomach all day yesterday.
3. On the other hand, have also been blessed with occasional brief periods of fun, laughters and smiles. Awwwwww : )))) 
4. Have lost some weight! weee hoo. My personal trainer must be really proud! but must not ruin this by indulging in my cravings since its 'that time of the month'. ehem. 
5. In the process of clearing and cleaning my room of all my junks and trash. Wow, can't believe how much stuff I have! Have also put up two new shelves for my (ever-growing) collection of books. I love to see my books arranged so nicely next to each other in random orders. .......Murukami next to Plato next to Dostoyevsky next to Freud next to Jane Austen next to Roald Dahl....! Those are my new favourite things to stare at when I go to bed. 
6. Silently praying that occasional brief periods of fun, laughters and smiles do not go away and stay around forever. :) 
7. Started my German class all over again so as to not waste all those German textbooks and workbooks. Can now write and talk about my family and have a simple 'how are you?" and "what is your name?" conversations.
8. Ich bin glücklich ! :D 
9. Will start to appreciate the people around me more especially Meine Familie (my family).
10. Has an intense urge to watch ALL Woody Allen movies in one go! 
11. Is attending a Myanmarese Wedding this Sunday. Going back to my roots, yo. 
12. Miss my father so much. :_( 
13. Love my life as it is  :) 

No wonder my life is in such a mess ;)

Argh. This was my desk in 2006 when I was working as a journalist for a mainstream newspaper. I am looking around at my current desk now and nothing much has changed. HAHA. Well, at least my mess is more 'organised' now as they are cluttered at one corner of my desk awaiting the day I would rummage through them to find 'that important document' that I have misplaced. On second thought, I think I'll do some spring cleaning next Tuesday. It would help a lot to get things clear in my life right now. Aye aye !

God

I guess you'd know by now that I'm a huuuuugeeeee fan of Woody Allen. I could watch his movies, read his books, listen to his stand-up comics and even to his (awful) clarinet music over, over, over and over again and never get tired of it. And since I'm in a mood of caring and sharing (awwwww *smile*), I hereby post a link to one of scripts entitled God. I guarantee you, you will laugh like you've never laughed before.

http://members.fortunecity.com/bookdepository/plays/god/god2.html

P/S: If you can't understand the subject, well I really can't help you in that department. Woody Allen doesn't believe in looking down at his audience when it comes to his art. He EXPECTS you to already know about the subject as much as he does.

HAVE FUN! :D

My loverlilies !

When I found out that my external HD crashed and that none of the data was ever to be seen ever again, I was devastated. Mostly because I have stored all my five years worth of writings, drawings and photos in that device without any backup! Or so I thought....

You see, deep down I know I'm somewhat of a responsible person la so vaguely remembered backing up my photos on flickr. To find out, I googled for my old fotopages account and true enough, I had stored some of my photos on it ! Oh, how wonderful it felt to see all the photos especially of my loverlilies (thats what I call my nephews and niece hehe). My life is just so much better after looking at those photos reminding me of the loves of my life and how much I miss them right now. Take a look at some of the photos and you'll see why they're the most precious important little ponies and bears in my life ! ;)

Above: Look at how cute little sheena is ! arghh I wanna bite her cheeks!
 Below: Aksi gila !

Below: Gloomy faces because the Astro wasn't working so we didn't get to watch Playhouse Dusney Channel !! :(

Somehow we developed this trademark of taking our photo of trying to touch the camera's lens. It's something we all cherish because only Khaleef, Aqiff, Sheena and Aunty Nana do this crazy pose ! (unfortunately we had a whole series of this trademark and it all went away when my external HD crashed :(( )

Above: From l-r Aqiff, Sheena and Khaleef - the loves of my life !

And last but not least, a photo of both my grandmothers while they were able to stand and walk. My maternal grandmother (standing on the left) is from Thailand and is now suffering from Alzheimer's and is also bed-ridden. She talks in Thailand now and it is sad that not only  does she not recognise me, I can't even understand what she is saying. :(

Nevertheless, I am blessed with beautiful people and oh-so-cute children in my life. Amin.

Life as it is meant to be for me

This is my life in the future:

I have a book published under my name. It is funny, witty and most importantly touches the heart of most people. I am working on writing on another book that revolves around my other passion, that is to help marginalised communities. I am focusing a large part of my time on helping and advocating the rights of marginalised communities. I am committed to making a change and difference in the world for the better.

Also, I am in a loving, caring and open relationship with my family members especially my mom. I live in a cosy house filled with books and my guitar and clarinet which fills the house with great music. I have an amazing kitchen, fully-equipped for me to cook and bake for the people that I love and care - my family and friends. Not to forget, I am in a loving, caring, trustful, truthful, honest relationship with a great guy who is in turn loving, caring, trustful, truthful and honest to me and more importantly, to my family. He is my backbone, as I am to him. We support each other to fulfill our passions and dreams. He lets me be the person that I really am - full of love and care but at times, a control freak (but for the best intentions!). He lets me be myself when I am with him. And I am committed to give back all that he has given to me.

Insya Allah, all this will happen in good time. Amin.

Big hugs to all the people around the world ! :)

If it is to be, it is up to ME

What's next for the year 2010 ? I have listed some goals here and the considerations I've always had that made me stop pursuing them. Now, please be aware that these goals aren't definite yet. Some are made based on situations and some of my own passion. Whatever the case is, I certainly do not want goals based upon superficiality and symbols. I hope by writing this down, I will get a clearer view of the list: So here goes...

1.      Write a book

1.      I never have time

2.      I don’t have a story to tell

3.      I’m not competent

4.      I won’t have enough money

2.      Move to another country and do volunteer work – before I list my considerations for this, I need to point out that this goal is still very vague because I have yet to figure out the need to move elsewhere. I can do volunteer work here, that’s true. In fact, there are so many areas and people who would need an extra hand. My reason to move to another country has always been because I’m tired of this place. But the thing is, I’m tired of this place because of the people and their attitude and guess what, why would it be any different in another place? I guess, I would need time to figure this out, but in the meantime, I shall list out my considerations first.

1.      The time is not right

2.      I have to work

3.      My family will think I don’t love them

4.      I don’t have the money

5.      I’m afraid of my future

3.      Lose weight

1.      I don’t have time to exercise

2.      I will always be overweight so why bother

3.      I never had problems getting guys so why bother

4.      I look good in my clothes anyway

4.      Achieve financial independence

1.      I don’t know how

2.      I’m afraid to take risks

3.      I don’t have time to do it

4.      I have too high of a credit 

Ok so let’s look back at each goals and the considerations but this time, I’m gonna ‘handle’ these situations and find a way so that I can achieve the goals.

1.      Write a book

a.       I never have time – this is total BS! I know from my experience that if I really wanted to do something I would always make time for it. For example, if I wanted to go shopping , and I really really really wanted to (like my life depended on it) I would go to the extent to even skip my lunch so I can do some shopping. That’s just a perfect example of me making time to do the things that I really really want. Now, if writing a book is really really important to me because it is part of my identity, hence I really really need to make time for this and that’s possible!

b.      I don’t have a story to tell – you know and I know that there are stories happening everywhere. In fact, many a time, I stumbled into a situation and thought that "this could make a good story!". But what did I do? Instead of writing it down and develop it further, I chose to forget about it or delayed writing it down until I forgot about it.

c.       I’m not competent – well, get competent! I’ve always been looking for writing courses or classes to improve my skills. But alas, the effort just stops at “just looking”. A trail of excuses will surely follow like I don’t have time, I don’t have money, maybe later blablablabla.

d.      I won’t have enough money – There are so many ways to make money. You see, this is funny. I have spent a quarter of my life telling others (especially my jobless friends) that if you really want it, you will find a way to make money. And now I’m making THAT as an excuse to stop me from achieving my goals. What the hell, I was working 2 jobs whilst finishing my degree and I had no problem with money back then. STOP MAKING EXCUSES HANA !

2.      Move to another country and do volunteer work 

a.       The time is not right – There will never be a right time. In fact, if I don’t make time, I will never have the time.

b.      I have to work – I can always quit my job. After all it is just a job. If I’m afraid that I won’t be able to find a paying job to support me, that’s just doesn’t make sense. I got my job now, don’t I? I wanted to work in Public Relations so badly (I’m from an engineering background, by the way) that I worked really hard to get it. In fact, how many times have I been offered a job by my acquaintances? Not boasting, but it is a fact. My point is, I’m capable of finding another job, regardless of the location.

c.       My family will think I don’t love them – I will always love my family especially my mom regardless if I’m here or elsewhere. I know my mom understands enough that all it takes is a gentle persuasion.

d.      I don’t have the money – another BS! If I really wanted to this, I CAN find the money. It’s as easy as selling my abundance of shoes and handbags.

e.       I’m afraid of my future – The future is unknowable. I have learnt my lesson that you don’t ever know what’s going to happen. But what is definite is that if I want my future to be prosperous, successful and joyful, it is up to ME to make that happen.

3.      Lose weight

a.       I don’t have time to exercise – I will make time because truth of the matter is I HAVE TIME! Do I really want this? Is this really my intention? YES! If it is my intention I can make it happen. So long  as I don’t produce the result, it will never be my intention and in that, I have broken an agreement with myself that I want to lose weight, feel better and look better. Shame on me !

b.      I will always be overweight so why bother – that’s not true. I know this because I was once at a normal weight and looked incredibly fantastic! That was the best time of my life and I owe that to myself.  

c.       I never had problems getting guys so why bother – It’s not about getting guys. It is about feeling and looking good in my clothes. Its about not wasting money with all the clothes that I can’t fit into anymore. It’s about feeling good about my body. It’s about not getting tired easily. I am beautiful and I owe it to myself to receive compliments from others. I am important to myself to deserve this!

d.      I look good in my clothes anyway - I do but I can do better. So why not be better. In fact, why not the best? I am important enough for that, aren’t I?

4.      Achieve financial independence

a.       I don’t know how – Of course I do. I have so many ideas running through my mind that what do I do with them? I let them just run in my mind. If I really want this, I should write it down and list ways to make it happen. I WANT THIS !

b.      I’m afraid to take risks – taking risks is about taking a chance. If I don’t take this risk, how will it ever happen? It will NEVER happen. If it never happens, then I did not achieve my goals. Hence, it wasn’t my intention. BUT I WANT THIS!

c.       I don’t have time to do it – see 1a.

d.      I have too high of a credit – True, but what are all the money I earn is for? Too earn more credit? Hell no. I have put myself into this situation therefore I need to be responsible for it. Therefore, I need to device a repayment plan to finish off my credit with the bank. If I want financial independence, I certainly can do this.