If it is to be, it is up to ME

What's next for the year 2010 ? I have listed some goals here and the considerations I've always had that made me stop pursuing them. Now, please be aware that these goals aren't definite yet. Some are made based on situations and some of my own passion. Whatever the case is, I certainly do not want goals based upon superficiality and symbols. I hope by writing this down, I will get a clearer view of the list: So here goes...

1.      Write a book

1.      I never have time

2.      I don’t have a story to tell

3.      I’m not competent

4.      I won’t have enough money

2.      Move to another country and do volunteer work – before I list my considerations for this, I need to point out that this goal is still very vague because I have yet to figure out the need to move elsewhere. I can do volunteer work here, that’s true. In fact, there are so many areas and people who would need an extra hand. My reason to move to another country has always been because I’m tired of this place. But the thing is, I’m tired of this place because of the people and their attitude and guess what, why would it be any different in another place? I guess, I would need time to figure this out, but in the meantime, I shall list out my considerations first.

1.      The time is not right

2.      I have to work

3.      My family will think I don’t love them

4.      I don’t have the money

5.      I’m afraid of my future

3.      Lose weight

1.      I don’t have time to exercise

2.      I will always be overweight so why bother

3.      I never had problems getting guys so why bother

4.      I look good in my clothes anyway

4.      Achieve financial independence

1.      I don’t know how

2.      I’m afraid to take risks

3.      I don’t have time to do it

4.      I have too high of a credit 

Ok so let’s look back at each goals and the considerations but this time, I’m gonna ‘handle’ these situations and find a way so that I can achieve the goals.

1.      Write a book

a.       I never have time – this is total BS! I know from my experience that if I really wanted to do something I would always make time for it. For example, if I wanted to go shopping , and I really really really wanted to (like my life depended on it) I would go to the extent to even skip my lunch so I can do some shopping. That’s just a perfect example of me making time to do the things that I really really want. Now, if writing a book is really really important to me because it is part of my identity, hence I really really need to make time for this and that’s possible!

b.      I don’t have a story to tell – you know and I know that there are stories happening everywhere. In fact, many a time, I stumbled into a situation and thought that "this could make a good story!". But what did I do? Instead of writing it down and develop it further, I chose to forget about it or delayed writing it down until I forgot about it.

c.       I’m not competent – well, get competent! I’ve always been looking for writing courses or classes to improve my skills. But alas, the effort just stops at “just looking”. A trail of excuses will surely follow like I don’t have time, I don’t have money, maybe later blablablabla.

d.      I won’t have enough money – There are so many ways to make money. You see, this is funny. I have spent a quarter of my life telling others (especially my jobless friends) that if you really want it, you will find a way to make money. And now I’m making THAT as an excuse to stop me from achieving my goals. What the hell, I was working 2 jobs whilst finishing my degree and I had no problem with money back then. STOP MAKING EXCUSES HANA !

2.      Move to another country and do volunteer work 

a.       The time is not right – There will never be a right time. In fact, if I don’t make time, I will never have the time.

b.      I have to work – I can always quit my job. After all it is just a job. If I’m afraid that I won’t be able to find a paying job to support me, that’s just doesn’t make sense. I got my job now, don’t I? I wanted to work in Public Relations so badly (I’m from an engineering background, by the way) that I worked really hard to get it. In fact, how many times have I been offered a job by my acquaintances? Not boasting, but it is a fact. My point is, I’m capable of finding another job, regardless of the location.

c.       My family will think I don’t love them – I will always love my family especially my mom regardless if I’m here or elsewhere. I know my mom understands enough that all it takes is a gentle persuasion.

d.      I don’t have the money – another BS! If I really wanted to this, I CAN find the money. It’s as easy as selling my abundance of shoes and handbags.

e.       I’m afraid of my future – The future is unknowable. I have learnt my lesson that you don’t ever know what’s going to happen. But what is definite is that if I want my future to be prosperous, successful and joyful, it is up to ME to make that happen.

3.      Lose weight

a.       I don’t have time to exercise – I will make time because truth of the matter is I HAVE TIME! Do I really want this? Is this really my intention? YES! If it is my intention I can make it happen. So long  as I don’t produce the result, it will never be my intention and in that, I have broken an agreement with myself that I want to lose weight, feel better and look better. Shame on me !

b.      I will always be overweight so why bother – that’s not true. I know this because I was once at a normal weight and looked incredibly fantastic! That was the best time of my life and I owe that to myself.  

c.       I never had problems getting guys so why bother – It’s not about getting guys. It is about feeling and looking good in my clothes. Its about not wasting money with all the clothes that I can’t fit into anymore. It’s about feeling good about my body. It’s about not getting tired easily. I am beautiful and I owe it to myself to receive compliments from others. I am important to myself to deserve this!

d.      I look good in my clothes anyway - I do but I can do better. So why not be better. In fact, why not the best? I am important enough for that, aren’t I?

4.      Achieve financial independence

a.       I don’t know how – Of course I do. I have so many ideas running through my mind that what do I do with them? I let them just run in my mind. If I really want this, I should write it down and list ways to make it happen. I WANT THIS !

b.      I’m afraid to take risks – taking risks is about taking a chance. If I don’t take this risk, how will it ever happen? It will NEVER happen. If it never happens, then I did not achieve my goals. Hence, it wasn’t my intention. BUT I WANT THIS!

c.       I don’t have time to do it – see 1a.

d.      I have too high of a credit – True, but what are all the money I earn is for? Too earn more credit? Hell no. I have put myself into this situation therefore I need to be responsible for it. Therefore, I need to device a repayment plan to finish off my credit with the bank. If I want financial independence, I certainly can do this.